jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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