Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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