We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize