All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have already put on my inside pants.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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