Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need water and some morals
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize