She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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