Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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