On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
