remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
