I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
