I want to make a zoo with you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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