I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im part way to drunk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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