he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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