I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
