You work out of a Hotel?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
