the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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