Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
