You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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