One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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