the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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