Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
