I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize