I want to make a zoo with you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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