So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize