so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
