Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
