oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
