my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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