Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
