I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
