I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He has the fingertips of a God
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