i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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