nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
