hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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