i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
