Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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