And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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