if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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