Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
