i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
