I looked at my own cervix.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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