Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize