Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
