wanna go halves on a baby?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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