What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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