we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize