Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
