They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Im part way to drunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
