She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
