Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
