Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
