I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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