I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
