is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
