Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
