and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize