My room smells like vodka and shame
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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