and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there's paper in my vomit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize