just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
