That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
